The candidate shows their understanding of the subject by choosing relevant points to make and the level of analysis is sufficient. The main area for improvement is that there needs to be a better balance of pros and cons. most of the way through the scientific points, it is suggested that animal testing is evil, but there is a little inconsistency as he/she writes 'until we have a better system, we must use animal testing'. A more effective method would be to introduce counterpoints to each of the pros of using animal testing, which would show a strong understanding of both sides of the argument and make their point-of-view more convincing. It is also probably better to have the pros first and the cons second as it will lead into the conclusion better and the cons will stick in the reader's memory more.
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